For some, the money shot happens in the conference room when your boss hears how adroit you are, for others it's a chance to appear in the spotlight and shining. Today it was sitting in the chair trying to read the letters projected on the wall with an eye that's fewked up beyond anyone's imagination. Picture your last eye test but add a sheet of glass in front of your eye(s) with vasoline smeared on it and tell me your version of how it would sound to those normally sighted folks and I'll raise you two cabreros. A little explanation is required here - the eye in question has a cornea that looks like a beached jellyfish with a body seared by a lightning bolt off to the left. Then you add floaters from a laser used to reconnect the retina and for good measure put in an expensive round mini-donut made of ?? that was supposed to "Clear things up" but was more like a Lee Press-On Nail under ones eyelid. Fortunately, the eye doctor was this wholesome, realist from New Mexico who's gifted with first-class training and possesses the gift of enlightened compassion so that the miscues are NOT a source of laughter (like some individuals in the room saw it) but rather a sympathetic test involving a severely vision-challenged fat bastard and this fewked up eye. Oh, we said A when it was a G and X when it was an H and so on. We're talking about an eye that has so many floaters in it that we've named them, flakie, orion, black shit, target practice, etc. It was a riot - I walked around the office holding a metal thingy that was like cheap opera glasses from the 19th century only to conclude "no improvement". The nice lady working the reception counter tried he best to be professional and not laugh at this intense guy walking around as if he didn't look like an asshole holding this contraption up to his face. So it all ended wih a soft contact lens that our guy couldn't find let alone retrieve from its container being inserted by our fully-appreciated eye doc and we're experimenting to determine if it's doing any good. OK - you go for your eye exam and hats off if you can get thru it looking normal. I did the Monty Python version and lived to tell about it.