Upstairs Downstairs inspired this recall: the original series in the 70s used to be coffee area fodder of discussion with a guy named Harry, a ginger who had a weight problem and a speed freak brother. This got me to thinking about all the characters in that glamorous collection of fortunates starting with Harry's co-worker Chris, a Winona Ryder doppleganger who drove Harry nuts with lust. Her best work bud was Linda, a lanky Ukranian who ate bananas at her desk to stir up the gawking monkeys. Then there was Paul, a freckled fundie with halitosis, Gus, a gym rat with a stunning wife, Gerry, an ex-marine who read voraciously - all supervised by Howard who had Clooney looks, the athletic skills of Bruce Jenner and an eye for Terry, sporting Liz Taylor looks and hair and married to Tom's brother. Tom was Mad Dog and actually shortened his life by trying too hard to play it straight while fighting the evil demon rum. The other Tom was Harvey Keitel-ish who also loved his whiskey and was a favorite target for the flaunters in the group. Carolyn was Halle Berry pretty and dressed like a rich gal. The other Carolyn had an overbite you could open a beer bottle with and sat on her tall drawing stool with a space between her knees you could drive a golf cart thru. Then there was Kenny, the deadbeat who the gals loved to blow . . .off. Gary was like Ken on 30 Rock but a little better looking and unaware that his wife was banging Jim, a stoic horndog who knew better. Susan looked like Susan St. James only better and Joey was a dwarfish butterball who laughed alot because he was dumb. Peggy, a single mom Filapina with acute acne who just happened to sit across from Joann whose cratered face triggered thoughts of the moon landing. Ray supervised these skin-challenged gals and he was a porno-hatin', gore-lovin' Catholic with 6 kids. Donna was a 19 year old Sally Field with a nympho mom who passed her craving to the daughter who happened to eschew banging your co-workers as a bad idea. Kathy was a divorcee with a young son and loved food but wore the same clothes she wore when she was 60 pounds lighter - sausage like big time. Jimmy was a draftsman first class who melted when you told him anything about getting laid. Joe was a frustrated surveyor who had a homely wife but always kept one eye on the ladies in the department. Walter was a surveyor who had a nervous breakdown and collected arrow heads. Harvey was a former Navy pilot who ran his section like a pro pilot and was the sweetest guy in the whole group. Mike was just a goofy looking chap and Tony wore coke bottle glasses that only had vision for Donna whom he eventually married ( and I videoed their wedding). I probably left out several - - oh, wait the top two bosses. Marriot, yes that's his real name, was the boss; he was an expletive effusing, bible bending, opinionated, educated one-of-a-kind who actually did the Khruschev-pound-the-table-with-your-shoe routine in an executive session of corporate big wigs. He listened to my apology for getting busted by our rogue claims/security yahoo for toking on a doob in an off-site parking lot, by stating simply "if you need to have a drink on company time, have the decency to go home afterwards and not coming back to work smelling of liquor". Dude, we weren't pounding drinks at a bar which was common place during THAT era, but I appreciate the analogy and humbly promised to never having this conversation ever again. The number two guy, Don, was brilliant, self-taught no-bullshit, results guy who knew all about my cannabis transgression but still trusted me with a personal project of his highest passion, which, by-the-by - nailed it! Analogs of these people are still somewhere servicing our needs, maybe well or possibly in a shitty way. But, thanks Upstairs Downstairs for making me remember these real deals and putting them here for posterity.